Step-brother and my best girlfriend

I’ve been with my husband since high school. My best friend in high school was a girl I’ll call Andei. I mentioned in my first post to this blog that I had had a same-sex relationship as a teenager. Well, that relationship was with Andei. She and I were always together. We were pretty much inseparable. We started sleeping together in the 10th grade. We had talked about it a little bit before it actually happened. As friends, we talked about sex a lot. Her dad had an extensive collection of porn and lots of sex books. I learned a lot about sex from her. She would watch the movies after school when her parents weren’t home, and of course she’d tell me all about it. I wasn’t much into watching them myself. I saw bits and pieces of them a couple of times, but they didn’t do all that much for me. Anyway, we talked so much about sex with guys and I never had any homosexual tendencies. As we grew to be closer friends we trusted each other completely. Talking about sex so much would of course be arousing………so being aroused and with a great friend, we eventually did it. I really don’t remember it all that well except that it happened at my house one night when she was sleeping over. After the first time, it was much easier to do again and again. There was no risk of pregnancy, no risk of STDs, and it was easy to get by my parents. It felt great of course. Having someone else bring you to orgasm is usually better than getting there yourself. I eventually grew tired of it. Andei was the one who would start it every time. She’d drive me home from school, come in for a minute, and start fingering me to orgasm. She didn’t ask for anything in return. I never wondered at the time if she was really a lesbian because she was so into talking about guys and their dicks and blow jobs and stuff but as I’ve gotten older I have begun to wonder. I’ve talked to some gay guys who have said they were always talking about women and sex with women just to dispel any doubts about their homosexuality.

On to the rest of the story…….when I was 16, I started dating the guy that would become my husband. It’s time to give him a name I guess. How about Jay. Anyway, at the time I did not know that Jay and Step-brother (remember from the previous post that Step-brother is gay) had been messing around with each other. When Jay and I started dating and really liked each other, he told Step-brother that he would no longer be participating in their favorite pastime. Step-brother kind of freaked out. (I told you he was annoying as hell.) He wrote Jay a creepy note about how he missed him and their friendship. Jay then wanted nothing to do with him, afraid that he would tell me the whole story and more afraid that he would tell Jay’s mom. Jay cut him off. Well, Step-brother calls me one night and tells me he wants to go out with my best friend Andei and wanted to know if I thought she would say yes. Well, she did. You see, being kind of a “butch” girl she hadn’t had many boyfriends. She and I both thought it would be a good way for us to double-date. Me and Jay and Andei and Jay’s step-brother. How convenient. It seemed harmless at the time. Except for the fact that Step-brother was so annoying, it would be fun.

Now that I look back on the situation, knowing what I know now, I think Step-brother had a devious plan. I think he was more attached to Jay than Jay was to him. I think he wanted more of the good-stuff with my boyfriend. I think he wanted to date Andei so he could be around Jay. Maybe Step-brother suspected that Andei and I were sleeping together and thought that eventually it would become a big orgy. (I have to note here that Jay and I didn’t have sex until our senior year in high school and when these events occurred we were still juniors.) Can you imagine Jay’s horror when my closest and dearest friend started dating the guy he was trying to cut off? Having Step-brother around must have made him so nervous. Just hoping and praying that Step-brother would not slip-up and make a comment that I would figure out. Just in case you are wondering, Jay did not know that I was sleeping with Andei. I didn’t tell him until we got serious enough to discuss marriage years later.

Whatever Step-brother’s plan was, it did not play out. He was so damned annoying that Andei could not stand him for long. She tried to break up with him after a few months. I say “tried” because her attempt to end their relationship was not successful at first. He begged for another chance. He had his mom (a stoner addicted to Doan’s back pills) call her to talk about what a great guy he really was. She felt bad so she hung on a little longer. Finally, it had to end. Lord knows I encouraged the break-up but I don’t recall Jay caring about it one way or another. Probably afraid he’d seem to anxious to get rid of Step-brother. One day, Andei and I went to Step-brother’s place of employment so she could end things. I waited outside. It took forever but she finally came out and said he’d tried to talk her out of it and he started crying. Probably because he hadn’t gotten to fuck my boyfriend yet. Seriously, none of this meant a lot to me at the time. It wasn’t a big deal. But when I look back on the situation, I just have to be suspicious of my now Step-brother-in-law.



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4 responses to “Step-brother and my best girlfriend

  1. BB

    Just a friendly note to say hi – and to say how really, really important it is to hear your voice. I am a gay man married to a marvelous, fantastic, beautiful, loving and understanding woman. To hear from your point of view is so, so important. I am glad I found this blog. I shall add you to my blogroll and hope to drop by often

  2. It is so common for teenagers to have same sex experiences. I wouldn’t call them relationships except for that of being friends. Anyway, at that age it is common for the reason you acknowledge, don’t have to worry about getting or getting someone else pregnant. STDs can be passed easily to same sex partners. Most teenagers have them. not STDs but same sex experiences. If they say they didn’t they are probably not telling the truth. Anyway, it happens and it doesn’t mean you or they are gay, could be and obviously some of you were but it wasn’t because of those experimentations. Your husbands step brother did not cause him to be gay. I know you are trying to make sense of what is happening to you right now and there are no easy answers. I’m so gald you are writing about it. It helps others and its a great way to work through it. Please feel free to email me at if you would like to chat. I watched this tear apart my mother and my family so while I can’t say I know what it is like to be in your shoes I have witnessed someone close wear those shoes. Best of luck and thanks for linking to me. J

  3. I know my husband’s step-brother did not cause his homosexuality. He’s known he was gay since he was very young. I believe he was born gay. I think his step-brother was a convenience to get what he wanted. I just find it very interesting that my husband is gay and Step-brother is also gay. Thanks for reading. I’ll email you sometime.

  4. Pingback: Is there a word for people like me?

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