Even though I have always been happy with our sex life and I’ve felt satisfied and fulfilled, finding out that Jay is gay has made me wonder if sex with a straight man would be any different.
As you’ve read here, Jay is very good at making love to me. It’s not at all like some of you might imagine. A gay man trying to figure out a woman’s body. Having to imagine some great piece of dick to be able to tolerate the situation. I can tell, when we are intimate, that Jay is there with me. He’s attentive and caring. He is interested in what I want and need. He enjoys being with me.
That said, I don’t feel like I’ve been missing out because I’m sleeping with a gay man. But, if I have to be honest, I will say that I wonder if sleeping with a straight man would be any different. Sex is good – very good. But can it get any better? And do I really care if it can?
I can understand Jay’s need to be with a man. A man who wants men, desires men, loves men. He needs to know that a man can love him, make love to him, fuck him, and think he is attractive. This makes sense. So why wouldn’t it make sense for me as well?
I’m getting all of those things from Jay. But does it mean as much? This is a question I am trying to answer for myself. I’ve been thinking about it for quite some time now. I married young. I never had another man tell me he wanted me or desired me. I’ve never been with another man other than Jay. How do you think this makes me feel? As a woman, it makes me feel kind of like shit.
Jay says I just never noticed other men because I was married and I wasn’t looking.
I think it’s time for me to feel justified.