I really have no idea where to begin. I used to post so regularly. I had lots of readers at one time. I made some real friends here. I can name five people off the top of my head whom I keep in contact with who actually know my real identity. They have been very helpful. And what I hope most, is that making friends with them will be an inspiration to those of you who are reading because you feel like I once felt….nearly five years ago – like you’re alone and you want to die.
So much has changed and if I tried to catch you all up at once, this would be the novel I’m trying to write. So, I’ll just start small. I haven’t gone back and read all of my previous posts, just the last few. I will have to update “The Players” over on the right hand side of this blog.
I want to say to those of you who have found this blog recently, and who’ve read every post and commented or sent me a message because you recently found out your husband is gay – there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise. I swear to you, it will get better. It will be, quite possibly, the hardest fucking thing you’ve ever done. But, it will get better. Do not let anyone influence the decisions you and your husband will make regarding your family and marriage. That will be very hard. But I think it’s very important.
Don’t read this blog if you’re here to judge me. I don’t need that. I’m hard on myself already, and hell, this is MY blog. What I write is 100% true. You can’t make this shit up. I’ve always written from the heart and I’ve always been honest. I’m opinionated, liberal, and open minded. But I do have feelings. And, I haven’t completely healed.
Come back soon. I will…….
I’ve thought about it for a while. A year at least. I want to write a book. Our story is one that needs to be told. I don’t care about money. I care about helping people who have been through this same thing.
I’ve gotten so much help from Pam who has been through the same thing as well. She is working on a book as well.
So, where do I begin? Lots of the posts on here will make up this book. There is so much more to be told as well. I think I just needed to wait until Jay was ready to be more public with his life. And now I’m ready too.
I’m no writer. Any advice?
Hi. Bet you guys thought I’d never be back.
You were wrong.
Anginae lives. I’m writing a book. More to come.
Well, I’m awake at the moment. The surgery went well. I’m not in a terrible amount of pain thanks to the oxy that I’m on but I really don’t want to let it wear off. I’ve done a little bit too much today which isn’t much at all. I can’t lift anything that weighs more than 5 pounds right now and you wouldn’t believe how many things weigh too much for me to lift.
Things are still healing and since I’m on pretty heavy pain meds I can’t tell yet if the surgery fixed my problems. But at least I know its’ done and hopefully I’ve headed off a lot of the problems that keeping my uterus would have led to.
I have a great doctor. He always provides me with pictures.
How sexy am I inside?
Jay is doing his best taking care of me. I’m a little too hard on him but I’ll blame it on the pain meds. Hopefully I can drive in another week. But I can’t clean my own house any time soon.
Thanks for all of the thoughts and prayers that you all sent our way. Some of you really touched my heart and I just love you.
I’ll be back soon.
I got this from Romach at Planet Romach. I love this kind of shit.
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
The book is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling.
“She’s Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and she’s the one who’ll be questioning you.”
“Amelia Bones is okay, Harry,” said Tonks earnestly. “She’s fair, she’ll hear you out.”
Harry nodded, stil unable to think of anyting to say.
“Don’t loose your temper,” said Sirius abruptly.
Those 5 sentences may not tempt you to read the book. Just trust me – it’s worth it. The whole series is.
I need to post but I’m not in the mood lately. Jay has informed me that I needed to post telling all of you that so I’m posting it. There has been so much going on. I applied for a job, interviewed for it, and got it all within 3 days, had to quickly find some sort of flexible child care arrangement for the days I need to work, had some training for the new job, and managed to keep the house up and take care of the children while adjusting to working again. I didn’t do a great job with the house and kids part. Jay really helped me with the housework this past weekend so I could get caught up. I’m a picky, neat housekeeper so it drives me crazy when I don’t have the time or energy to do the cleaning. I’ve been on some new meds for my anxiety/depression (I’ve been on it for a while not just since Jay came out) and for the first week to 10 days it wipes me out with fatigue.
So, my brain is just over-loaded with new stuff. My body is just tired. I’m really wanting some alone time with my husband for a nice dinner or something. The last couple of weekends have kept us really busy with family or church obligations due to Easter. Jay and I have had no time together. He’s been stressed due to the job search. Read his blog for the newest update. It’s good news!