* No perfume allowed. He doesn’t want his wife to smell you.
* No hickeys, scratches, or fingernail marks. (Not that I would do this anyway but let’s just make sure it’s understood.)
* This relationship is on his terms. He is hiding you from his wife, so you have to follow his rules.
* No calling, texting, IM during hours in which he might be at home with his family. It is hard to explain at times why the Blackberry keeps beeping.
* If you are together in public, don’t act like you are any more than an acquaintance or business associate. Don’t expect anything that resembles affection from him. Even though you have done the most unimaginable things together in bed, don’t expect even a second glance if others are around.
* Never, ever, say anything bad about his wife. Even when he confides in you the way he feels when she criticizes him, the way their marriage has become more like a business, the way she shuns him when he approaches her for sex, you are not allowed to make any comments. Just listen.
* Be sexy all the time. Exaggerate every move you make in bed. Act like a porn star.
*Most importantly – don’t fall in love with him. You know – he has a family and no matter how hard it gets at home, he’s not leaving.
But, I did fall in love. I didn’t plan on it. It just happened. I’ve followed all the rules. And I never, ever, wanted to fall in love. Especially with a married man. But, he said it first. Said he was falling in love with me. Remembers the look in my eyes when he told me.
How could I not fall in love with the first straight man I’ve ever slept with? Sleeping with him only 4 days after we met made me feel like a slut. But I didn’t care. I had to know what sex with a man-man was like. Sex with my gay husband was great, but I wasn’t satisfied with that.
Seriously, all I wanted was sex. That’s all he wanted as well. It was part of the terms of our agreement. However, he started to like me. Started asking questions about my personal life – not just what I wanted to do in bed. Started talking about his kids, his family, his career. Showed me his sense of humor. Showed me his sensitive side. Told me I was an amazing woman. A great person. The best lover he’s ever had. Noticed things about my body that J never had. Pointed out beautiful parts of me that I didn’t know I had. Made me feel good about myself.
He loved me first. And the more time I spent with him, the more I realized I was growing to love him. Now he says he can see it in my eyes when I look at him. He knows I love him and he’s confident of that fact. Never doubts it. Wants to meet my kids. Would love for me to meet his (I refuse).
So, at the end of the day, I only get to dream about being beside him when I wake up in the morning. I only get to dream about taking care of him. I only get to wonder what it must be like to welcome him home every night. Because he’s fulfilling the commitment he made to his family. And ironically, that’s the reason I love him the most.
It’s not fair that I never get what I want.
Is there a word for people like me? 
1. most people don’t get what they want, when they get it a)it’s not like how they imagined b) the price was higher than they expected.
and to me your situation is like falling in love with your dummy, you cant do anything, you cant change anything , you can only fuck it and well love it cos it’s a talking dummy with feelings in your case.
and i know how much u like J and what a jerkass he is at times, still he’s your man. and he wants to be your man cos you’re so fucking great.
you were in a complicated situation, now it’s super complicated, i wish i could help but well i cant
you can hit me with whatever you like but you gotta find someone else, you cant fall in love with all the wrong guys in the world, it really wont help you.
whatever you do, try to be nice to yourself, you are a good mom and a caring human and you deserve all the good things.
ps: you can fall in love with me (this is impossible, so it’s ok!)
aww! He is a married man! You’re in a very complicated situation, especially your inner side. Falling for a married man ain’t wrong, but acting like want him to be with you, that would be not so good. I wish you can know what you are doing. Like Nate said, most people don’t get what they want. All the best.
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I hope you and the b/f will be able to sort out your lives so that you can make this work. Difficult, yes, impossible, no.
Good luck
My dad had an affair with another woman.. I found evidence on his phone when I wasnt even looking for it. I haven’t forgiven him and I HATE the other woman, just for what she did, I don’t care if she’s a “good person” or not. think about what will happen when his family finds out.. when your own family finds out. you can’t keep a secret like this forever.